So... what now?
What can I talk about that will distract you all from my appalling driving record. The guilt I feel over the loss of X939DDW is palpable even though the police officer attending the scene congratulated me on avoiding a much more serious accident and possible loss of life or limb, and, furthermore made it plain that it was not my fault. OKAY? YOU GET THAT? If only my own brain would absorb such information.
So in the spirit of purging and facing our fears let's talk about the accident (which wasn't my fault) openley and honestly without assigning any blame to me whatsoever. Here are some thoughts about car crashes (I consider myself something of an authority on this subject now). We have all heard about time slowing during moments of extreme panic or danger. This is entirely true.
It is as if your brain goes from registering 25 frames per second to 250 frames per second. Your senses are heightened, your hearing more than any other. The screech of rubber on tarmac seems incredibly loud and you instantly smell the melted pirellis and tortured brake discs. Then there is always a moment, just a split second, a fraction of an instant of pure silence and calm before the loudest noise I ever want to hear.
The wrending and compressing of metal, the sheering of bolts, the cracking of plastic and the explosive deployment of the airbag. Your world turns white as you face plant into the airbag and your nose instantly feels as though Mohammed Ali has given you one of his best. There is a feeling of weightlessness as the momentum of the vehicle is lost in a second and then the tinkle of falling glass and plastic once the vehicle comes to rest.
The smell is the worst thing (perhaps because it is now too familiar to me and associated only with car crashes). The smell of radiator fluid, brake fluid, oil, diesel, airbag powder or gas or something and blood. You body is literally brimming with adrenaline and you first reaction is to immediately leave the vehicle.
Your hearing comes back very slowly and it is several seconds before you realise that the radio is still on, seeming unnaturally loud without tyre roar and engine note. Then the horror truly starts. What? Catering equipment? I am revealing my... refrigeration? SURELY THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN COMMERCIAL REGRIGERATION! No? Okay maybe tomorrow. Welcome back to LIFE at Ward's