Skip to main content
Menu Background
Home / News / Finally...
Need help? Ask us a question

Finally...

... Nathan Ralph Turner born 01:39 30th January 2009, 6lb 6oz. Looks like a little old man and cries like a girl. Other than that all's well. Here's an hour by hour report of the birth of a human: At approx 20:00 on 28th my missus complained of suffering from contractions. We stayed awake until about 04:30 waiting for progress but the contractions remained more or less constant so we went to bed. At 08:30 on 29th she was told to go to hospital and I was told to go to work. This we duly did. At 23:00 on 29th we went to bed. At 00:03 on 30th my missus woke me up and told me her waters had broken. This news was obviusly supposed to be met by my leaping from the bed and getting the car stared and warmed, collecting baggage and the like... unfortunatley I rolled over and went back to sleep. At 00:03:05 I was re-awoken and my brain sluggishly processed the information. We reached the maternity ward at 00:14 and at 01:15 I went out for tab while my missus was examined. At 01:30 I returned and about 9 mins later Nathan Raph Turner was lying in a pool of horridity on the mattress. I was sent home at 04:00 and returned at 10:30. We had to return to the hospital in the evening with some questions about feeding which have since resolved themselves. Job done. What about catering equipment? Well I have spent the last 3 hours changing all the AHT refrigeration prices. I am now having trouble focusing but I need to stay awake to look after the urchin whilst my missus gets some richly deserved kip. I think I shall watch Dawn of the Dead. Please send all flowers and money to: Ward's of York Unit 5: Centurion Office Park Tribune Way Clifton Moor York YO30 4RY