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Mr C is off on hos jollies. His uncle is visiting from the Southern hemisphere and Mr C is taking some time out to reintroduce him to the horror that is modern Britain. What will this visiting adopted antipodean make of chav culture (I assume they have it in Australia too but I have never been so I can't be sure).

What about the country's attitude to the elderly or different races? Have they become more or less tolerant since he was last here? What about the high streets of great Britain, essentially carbon copies of each other. An HMV, a Boots, a Body Shop, a Thorntons, 25 coffee shops and a billion mobile phone shops, no individuality or charm to be found anywhere.

The number of people visible in every direction when stood outside the main railway station of any major conurbation must surely have at least doubled since he was last here. I would quite enjoy leaving this island for 20 years and coming back to ascertain the differences (mostly the leaving would be the enjoyable part). So what of catering equipment?

What of commercial and medical refrigeration? What, for the love of ARSE, is the deal with catering sundries? Well late last week I fielded a call from a man claiming to be the executive chef on a European Prince's luxury yacht which remains permanently moored in Lahndahn Tahn and serves as a private members club. He wants to replace all his posh crockery and cutlery and we are the people to do it. From greasy spoons to luxury yachts... we're your lads!