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PIPING HOT

Some things on this planet we call Earth are amazing. Natural phenomena like The Aurora Borealis and even the the miracle of life for examples. The fact that the moon is 50 times smaller than the sun but also 50 times closer making it appear exactly the same size, an incredibly useful little coincidence for any astronomer wanting to study corona.

Some things humankind has made itself: The motorcar, the space shuttle, the printing press, the pipe... screeeeeeeeech. WHAT WAS THAT? The Pipe? Yes my friends, the pipe.

The pipe as a smoking impliment is familiar to us all and is associated with old men and sometimes wizards. It is also sometimes associated with Oxbridge scholars trotting about in tweeds and spying for the communists (those guys were awesome, the spies not the commies). However a young, vibrant, lower middle class office worker? Smoking a pipe? In 2009? Nay. And yet, observe: " He's off his rocker!" come the shouts, "He's stupid!" "He's cracked!" "He's balmy!" Perhaps. [puffs pipe contemplatively] Let me lay it out for you cool cats. The pipe of which I speak be an electronic pipe.

It be safe and almost entirely harmless. It takes a nice vanilla fluid and turns it into flavoured smoke and (and here's the important thing) MAKES ME LOOK COOL! It is incredibly versatile, can be smoked from either side of the mouth, can be used to tap things (salient information on a sheet of paper, buttons on a phone etc) and the weighty end if firmly applied to the head of an unruly urchin will result in their running home crying and learning a valuable lesson about respecting pipe smokers.

Come and join the pipe smoker revolution. We will prevail and there's nothing you or your anti-pipe-somking cronies can do about it. I KNOW THIS HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH CATERING EQUIPMENT OR COMMERCIAL REFRIGERATION BUT WAIT TILL TOMORROW AND I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT AN INTERESTING LITTLE CROCKERY ENQUIRY!