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Still away, still away, still away

I thought I'd write... Mr N here by the way... I thought I'd write... thanks for reading... I thought I'd just write and... Welcome to Life at Ward's... I just thought I'd write and let you know what I could theoretically be doing today on Owd Lahndahn Tahn. Since I probably do not have easy or immediate access to the World Wide Web and am therefore unable to report "live", and since I know you are desperate to hear what I have been up to, I thought that a totally ficticious account of my activities would suffice until my return, whereupon I shall report the actual events and we shall have a lot of fun, a lot of fun, comparing the two and remarking on the inevitable contrast! So what have I been up to? Well yesterday as we know I imagined I went to the Natural History Museum and saw their water boiler and their panini grill along with the fossilised skeletons of many dinosaurs. Today took a strange turn. I was supposed to go to London Zoo, however myself and my family were travelling there on the London Underground (the tube) when a wormhole opened in the spacetime continuum and we were teleported back in time and space... teleported is the wrong word, we travelled back in space and time to the Jurassic Era and had to battle with real dinosaurs in order to find a rare mineral which, when coupled with a strange piece of appartus which materialised on our tube-train-time-machine on it's voyage through time would get us back to the present. Then we had Pizza.