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Virtual Wards

As you may have read previously in this utterly ridiculous record of life at Wards some of the chaps here (including myself) enjoy the odd computer game. Left 4 Dead is the current favourite. So I thought I'd explain how this works. Mr F, hosts a game on his server and then everyone else joins in online. I host the voice communications on XFire and we can all talk through our headsets (which can get very irritating). Then Mr F generally leads the way. This usually involves him running ahead, stealing all the best weapons and pickups and then, when he has triggered a baddie (or hundreds of baddies) we see him running back towards, and then past us, before locking himself in a room whilst we deal with the problem. Mr S and I are very much middle of the pack players although I tend further towards outright aggression whilst Mr S is more tactical. Mr S is almost entirely silent during play but I am extremely vocal, especially in my criticism of Paul's lack of teamplay. Mr M (who doesn't work here) is Tail End Charlie. This is not because he can be relied upon as a rearguard but because his abject cowardice prevents him being anywhere near the front. Now you may be asking; "Why on earth is Mr N describing this rubbish to us? We are interested in the world of catering equipment!" Good question, well phrased, interesting and salient. Here's the thing: It's amazing how much selling, delivering and servicing catering equipment and refrigeration seeps into your non-working life. During these games we can be heard to shout things like: "Enemy behind that serve-over!" "Cover me, I'm going to use that multideck as a base of fire." "Grenade! UNDER THE 6-BURNER!" "TANK! Fall back to that room with the upright glass door bottle chillers!" Also it's almost impossible to go out to eat without picking up a plate, checking the manufacturer, estimating the price and then nodding sagely before placing it back on the table... then repeating the process with a glass, a salt shaker, the cutlery, the menu holder etc. Oh and if, purchance, you get a sneaky look into the kitchen as a member of waiting staff emerges your vision goes red like a Terminator and then a white outline flashes across each piece of catering equipment and a buzzing, tickertapey sort of noise accompanies lines of text before your eyes which read: Parry P6BO 6 Burner Oven Range - �870.00 Parry PWB6 Wet Heat Round Pot Bain Marie - �339.00 Lincat OG7106 Gas Pedestal Double Fryer - �1274.00 And then the door shuts. You check the make of a multideck when you remove from it a sandwich or can of fizzy soda pop. You feel a slight sense of panic when you see a piece of equipment you don't recognise. "Bumbletum Kebab Machine? What's that? Where's that made?" It's quite sad really. Today at Ward's Mr G is still wearing his coat (he has switched back to his denimy thing with the corduroy collar after the ribbing he received for his London gangster overcoat). Everyone else is busy as bumble bees. I am going to change Robot Coupe prices.